nth remains the same, but i'm still me

moodless

2006-12-19T06:21:00.000-08:00

hmm..i been so unlucky!! lost 3 items in juz this month alone. yes, i jux lost my hp pouch. wtH. the most frustrating is that i dun even noe where i actually lost it. well...my hp pouch got alot of things inside la..got money, EZlink card, n some other stuffs. so practically dun ask me to travel much now. no card no going out.

yes, i didnt go for choir again. hmm..but i oso not performing so really dun understand y i still need go there. to me, the time i can use to slp. pig. i was prepare to choir on the tue night so after work i went home to take my stuffs b4 i went kbox wif them. so after spending my whole night from 1 to 6 am in kbox, i found out my thing are lost. luckily, that time got xiao xin acc me. she was like half consoling me half lecturing me.haha. but she's tired too so make her go home. den, me alone along the road of orchard..n it's was raining heavily.. i walk all the way to mrt station n sobbing all the way.super moody la. so i decided not to go choir le. seems like a lame excuse but juz totally moodless.

i will go tml. i think.

sad

2006-12-16T11:11:00.000-08:00

i do closing today for foc. haha. i'm so nice right..? yea. i juz love working coz i will forget all my problems n trouble.

worst come to worst i will have to continue working until..erm..i dunno when..coz of some family matters. i scare i cant cope wif the studies n with choir too. but i cant bcoz of choir n quit my job coz i think i will need the job badly...tell me what to do..??

so moody..esp during choir today. i will try to cheer up abit.=)

life is getting bumpy for me.

LEAD me out

when will my life becomes smoother..

closing

2006-12-11T00:04:00.000-08:00

for 2 consecutive days, i had been doing closing. tat is terrible coz i need to sweep the floor with a sweeper n mop the floor with a mop. sound simple? well..i dun do much housework at home lo. even when i do, there's a vaccum cleaner and magic mop for me. arghh..i dun like closing. hahaha. it's seem like i've no choice coz i will b doing closing later n for tml too. sian. for now, i can feel my bones breaking. my neck hurt. mum told me not to work le. but sometimes it's pretty fun to work there. when will i stop working? i haben consider this prob yet. haiz.

my dad went hospital in the morning. ????

hana kimi

2006-12-09T11:47:00.000-08:00

oh my god. wu jun very handsome la. hahahahaha..a nice show which every1 shld watch. =)

2006-12-07T08:45:00.000-08:00

hehe, going to slp le..

i hate myself

2006-12-06T08:32:00.000-08:00

went to eat at cartel. enjoy my time there at least my mind is being occupied..

den off to andrea hse to celebrate her bdae. so tired tat i almost fall aslp when watching superstar. anyway, my workmates asked me if i wanna go MOS but i think think think. in the end decide for the time being i dun wish to go. at least for now..but the near future i cant assure.

sian. cant slp again. this has last for a few days le. arghh..

i hate myself.

i dunno what's happening to me during this hols. really dunno. i'm really sry if i ever coz much problems for u. i promise everything would be fine when the sch starts again. but at the mean time, can u juz ignore me.

well, u r already ignoring me, arent u? mayb i'm juz too sensitive but i feel it and i feel terrible. it's hard for me. i noe i'm in no position to tell u what to do or hold any feeling for u. but let me tell u something, i dunno y u keep appearing in my mind or even when i'm talking. the only time u vanished is the time when i work. so, i am really trying hard. at least believe me once. i will not b lazy over this.

working is the only happy time i haf. i'm not telling u all this for wad. i dun even noe if u noe i'm toking abt u or did u ever read my blog. i juz have a plain purpose in mind and that is to regain our friendship.

i really hate myself.

i miss our friendship. will i b able to save it?

haixz

2006-11-25T23:15:00.000-08:00

went to sch early morning to have choir den it was cancel. sian lo. den went to eat breakfast with mic n sj. something happen. they use my hp dunno do wad lo. make me look like crazy person there. hahaha

HAIZ>.<

juz now do abit compre den i feel very slpy le> liddat how to finish my hw??!!

i like it

2006-11-24T09:02:00.000-08:00

suddenly, i feel that i like to work. me some workholic?nope. i like the feeling there. at there even though i made mistakes, being scolded, work till my legs seem to hurt so much that walking was a problem, need to carry heavy plates, n wadever wadever.. i feel belong. at least tat's wad i feel now. the people r slowly opening up n they joke with me sometimes. they r interesting. n i get to noe ppl in different ways. yup. i like being busy n feel belong. so mayb i dun really mind working there with a not so high pay. yup.

i'm enjoying. torturing myself? [haha]

got abit confused myself. but i hope i will make some sense out of it. think i got abit too obsessed in playing along with it that i might have lost myself. this hols will b a good chance for me to sort out.? haix.

i'm so busy.

[yawn]

time to slp.

1st day of worl

2006-11-15T07:35:00.000-08:00

1st day went to work. it took me about 45 min to reach there by 105. it's a tough journey coz the bus wasnt nice to slp. anyway, i didnt attend econ n math lect coz dun dare to ask them change time coz i forget got lect den told them aytime oso can. sian. so i'm left with no choice but to study my lect now..but with no teacher explanation.

can i cope?

anyway, my job for today was super simple and i enjoy it. firstly, the people there were very super friendly esp the DM. (haha, dun ask me wad DM stand for coz i DUNNO =P ).wipe the table den juz serve drinks or bread den or give flyers lo. haha.simple rite. yeah. but there was time when giving flyers become boring coz it's tiring to keep smiling lo. but...the assistant manager is handsome lo. k la. think he about 20 plus plus. but at least at that place he's the only one i noe(coz he's the 1 hu interview me n he RMB! omg). so he gif me some kind of assurance. yeah. anyway, the DM super funny coz she said me xiao bu dian! can u believe it. haha. it's fun working there. at least for now.

so busy.

arghhh..where's my simple life?

blame my own greediness.

i found a job--cafe cartel.

2006-11-11T18:26:00.000-08:00

i found a job.

i was very happy when i received their call yesterday night. so happy. sy oso received their call but mic dun have.

anyway, went to choir in the afternoon and it was raining soO heavily. so me and ann nee shared 1 umbrella. when we about to reach the bible house, there's a road without any traffic light or zebra croossing that we had to cross. the problem is when me n ann nee cross like half way, "beep, beep" make us both super shock and run in 2 different ways. ya..a car was about to hit us, i think. i dun dare to look back and run towards the other side with the umbrella while ann nee ran back to the path and share the umbrella with mic n shu jia.fortunately, no1 was hurt. it was the choir president birthday, both nyjc and pjc de, so gave them a surprise celebration. Anyway, i found out that if i really passed the probation, i would b busy with choir. oya, i think more close with the sap. mayb bcoz mic n ann nee they all there den get to noe their ppl more le. dunno y. haha. feel a bit wierd in my own grp. =p

i am happy.

time to start study.

will i?

tired leh

2006-11-10T07:47:00.000-08:00

women and men. y is tat a different in ppl? Being a woman, lady or girl is troublesome. sian. i want to b a guy in my next life if there ever have any.

went kbox with mar, yc, gwen. n clar. nv noe yc would b tat high. hohoho. so fun. we almost jump till the whole building going to collapse. =P haha..i still off pitch here n then esp when juz start. tat disgusting yc keep suaning me. haha. his pitch very high lo. wow.? anyway, it's fun. juz got a bit wierd there. haha. u noe wad i mean? hehe..bet gwen noe. =)

plan to go shop n save to buy some vege but eve called. so went down. juz wanna say dun think too much for now. if u wan someone to listen to u can juz call me anytime.(juz like today.) cheer=)

i want a job.

i'm satisfied with my life now.

happY.

finding jobs.

2006-11-07T06:05:00.000-08:00

although i am a bit crazy that i still look for job, seriously even if i have too much time i will also b wasting them instead of studying. anyway, i have already apply 4 places and now waiting for their calls. really hope that i can get the job that i want. =)

nth to blog actually.

juz enjoying my simple life rite now.

2006-11-03T01:10:00.000-08:00

What are you really looking for?
Your ideal match is warm, knowing and isn't afraid to go after his goals. He tends to be patient with people, too. And if that isn't enough, he pretty much sets the standard for emotional health by being filled with positive feelings and energy - energy he radiates out onto those around him.

Is he a rare breed?
Approximately 12% of men have that exact personality type. Another 11% are similar to the type you're looking for.
77% are of different types.

What makes him different from other men?
It's that your ideal man is unusually good at dealing with difficult situations without getting too stressed out. Rate of being more easy going is 6.8.

Who's your compeition?
About 15% of women your age are after the exact type of man you are. And 12% of men have that personality type. Approximately 60%of the women want a similar type. 14% are ok with that type. Only 11% are looking for another type.

What do people see in you?
You're ambitious, enigmatic and love being in the spotlight. You have a way with being in front of people, and they enjoy watching you in action. Chances are you have a bevy of friends and you thrive knowing how much others appreciate you. On top of this, you're a go-getter, and you really shine when you're under pressure

hohoho..mine mr right so rare leh..so sad. haha.

anyway, chinese a today. hmmm..hope i didnt scew it up. hahaha.

sentosa trip

2006-10-31T07:19:00.000-08:00

so lazy to blog nowadays.hahaha

hmm..well..i'm promoted to j2 which is quite a miracle lo. tat's wad i think. firstly muz thanks all the teachers for at least giving me 1 more chance although i dunno if i will fail them again.well..i will try to try lo.

sentosa trip today. actually, we going to kayak there but it's too ex and suddenly most of the ppl dun feel like playing le. so in the end, we play water. hahaha.super fun. oya. b4 we went into the water we eat alot of food lo----round 1. wahahaha. after an hour or so, round 2 start again. we r pigs of 0619! den slack. really nth to do after tat coz waiting for hong guang n nich n so on. haha..into the sea we go again. play murder again. wow..so fun can.=) den round3 start once more. wooowoo..volleyball match next.the guys are pro but the gals(only 4) are erm..hmm..haha..r lousy de.mayb except raine still ok sometimes.-P play until my leg going to break le. soOOOoo tired..

this's so funny can. i apply sun block only for my mole out there. den the other side of my face is much redder than the one with the mole. haha. nxt time both side oso muz apply. sobs..sobs..i'm sun burnt for my poor shoulders. so painful. sobs..sobs.. my young sis was so shocked coz damn red. wahahaha.

alevel start le. fri would b our chinese alevel. i wanna an a leh. i want. after tat follow by op. i oso wan band 1 or 2 for pw leh. arghh..hope i'm not being greedy. =)

*hope i can upload my pic after dear raine or marvin send to me. hehehe.

i'm back from malaysia

2006-10-24T08:31:00.000-07:00

hmmm..back from malaysia le. haha..1 dAY at grandpa hse, den 1 day at kl's mid valley hotel.

slp at 3plus when at grandpa hse. tok tok tok. haha.gals tok.

the shopping mall at mid valley is damn big. walk until quite sian anyway. but the time limited so didnt buy anything even though so many offers. sian.

going to board the train at 2plus den found out we forget the to take passport! omg. thought cannot come back to spore on time. luckily my uncle went back home n take for us. luckily. luckily. luckily.

now so sian. toking to the tootie michelle now.

kinda recalled abt that time(hmm..ithink abt 3 years ago) when i noe bei er who is 1 year younger than me. dunno y they sudden rake up the past abt me n bei er. anyway, got rumours abt us la. now, cant take him off my mind. not bcoz of wad but juz kinda wanna noe how's him. yup.

anyway,he(cousin) and me got quite abit wierd when we 2 r alone. well, cant b that close anymore, i think.

overall, it's fun.

haix. now back to spore. sian. with the upcoming result, chinese alevel, and the most yucking sub: PW, it make my life once again back to square 1. 26/10/06 would b my verdict. by then i will haf to plan my future again if i ever wanna c light...

dunno y. really dunno y. i still miss u sometimes. i dun like it.yx.i jux only wanna b friends wif u.

some thoughts

2006-10-20T23:23:00.000-07:00

after reading blogs,i found out that there are people who u considered as ur true buddies while some treated the same person as enemies. why is that so? well, i cant deny but to agree that some people are truly irritating and disgusting though. so if u are friend of them then are u bird of the same feathers? well, u noe it better than me, huh.

mayb some people like me juz dun wish to b in any conflicts so acting as though i noe nth and behave as though they r fren of mine too mayb is a bliss sometimes. Now i have to as i do not have a choice to it. so what can i say? nth. but to keep them all in my heart till the time comes.

pw. i have thought or had i only dreamed that the group is at least better after the long promo break? oh well..u may seem the group is well on track or wadever. but after a short while i think the attitude sux. in my very opinon, i like my own project to be done by ourselves as this is my very own project. Whether it is very plain simple but can be easily done by ourselves, i DO NOT like my own project to be hand over to strangers to handle. No matter how professional or skillful they are. i jux plainly dun like it.coz it's our project but not our own work. oya, communication sux too. if u ever treat us as ur teammates pls tell us wad u all decided to do. cant u feel the unhappiness in the gals?!! well, if that so den i am very sad to announce that u r juz a emotionless freak who think u r damn idiotic handsome.

hmm..it seems that not alot of ppl noe my very blog. hope not so many noe too. so that i can really blog coz i dun wish to haf war on my tag board. well..if i ever blog on my dislike, they will b very honoured to b the 1st!

going to malaysia soon.in a few hours time. trying to get myself prepared. this is the 1st time i going to c him after he haf confessed though he haf write to say that i can ignored what he had said. but i juz feel wierd.

ignorance is a bliss

opEn hse

2006-10-13T05:44:00.000-07:00

as usual late for sch. no matter wad is the time to assemble. no wonder i'm named as the "latecomer" when i'm in 0625. kinda of miss that class. all the fun.

amyway, open hse today was quite successful, i think. well.quite alot of ppl came to our sch lo. even though hci, jj, rj were having theirs too. get to tour around with 2 swiss cottage gals. there are interesting n lively. somemore we xchange our no. oya, the ruby match was exciting but think clarence hurt his hand again. i was quite shock when i watch the ruby match. zl was there playing as a member.omg! he quit db. mixed feeling arise.

i dun wan go hk la. although i say i wont go only when i retained or passed, i oso dun wan go if i ever get promoted le. waste of $$. i wan use that $$ and time to brush up my studies for wadever scenarios going to happen.

monday is coming real soon.soon.soon.will be 26 oct.

even though i show much calmness n dun care.

i'm scared.

(trembling deep inside my heart)

For every fallen star there is a wish. when will mine be fulfilled

oo

2006-10-11T06:15:00.000-07:00

didnt go to co as usual. juz tat i haf 1 more excuse today for not going. went to the open house briefing. i look forward to the open house on friday even though there is much competition with several schs.

decided. i going for the choir audition to try out my luck.=P coz i really set my mind on quiting co. i'm very sry to samantha but i have no choice. coz i really feel that it is a waste of time to go co practice n even combine practice. Even if it is a fact that my skill isnt that great, the most imptly is i dun feel a sense of belonging in there. this problem is very similar to bbco. but..well..for bbco, i haben yet decide what i shld do will b best for me. mayb u will think i'm very selfish, only think for myself. But, to leave, is to have only the best memory of the people n my love towards music, if i ever stay longer i might hate everything.

anyway, went to ps with marvin n yongcai. juz walk around n buy badges. haha.
yongcai: i'm multi-talented i can tok n piss u off at the same time
marvin: i am gay. are u?
joan:Do u think i care?
gwen: naturally bitchy
mE: virginity is not dignity but lack of opportunity

hehe.we choose for gwen n joan.=) n for godness sake, i didnt choose tat myself is that tootie mar n yc choose de lo. lol.

2006-10-10T05:51:00.000-07:00

dunno y the photos cant b uploaded..haiz. sian.

late for pw meeting today coz i watch "my girl" until 5am. No wonDer. hehe. sry ar.

zoo trip yest. omg. only 5 ppl excluding me. i thought there will b alot of ppl going. hmm..nvm. a fruitful trip anyway. hehe, coz get to c lots of animals. den went all the way to bugis with mic n az. hahaha, bit crazy. =p

Arghhh..results coming out.

nth to blog abt actually.

2006-10-08T01:36:00.000-07:00

getting so bored in the car so decided to try out pamela's new phone. quite clear sia.

isnt the scenary beautiful? (taken from the balcony). too high so cant c any bikini gals.=P

trying to capture ourselves with the scenary. but..think our heads too big le.

isnt this pic artistic? hee..i take 1 leh.=)

2006-10-04T10:26:00.000-07:00

omg